I am seriously offended. Someone sent me a phishing email (I believe, I sure as all get out didn't open it) & the person had the audacity, the sheer effrontery, to actually claim my last name as his own & I know it ISN"T!!!    My last name is such a rarity in this country that no one with this last name isn't related to me in some way shape or form.  Dirty, low-down, slimy, rotten, no-good criminal "donkey." 
Normally I don't take these things personally, but what a load of male bovine feces. A NEW LOW for the criminal elements out there on the internet.      

  Rumplestiltskin, eh? Oh, well. I suppose I have no one but myself to blame if, during my temper tantrum, I stomp my foot & disappear into the bowels of the earth forever.

And the absolute best one is from the Federal Bureau of Ivestigations (NOT a typo) where the very nice federal agent with the suspiciously nigerian sounding name informs me that some one has  stolen my identity, but if I just give my name, SS#, and banking information, they'll get it all straightened out for me. Our government is so kind & helpful.