An Ebonics 'Night Before Christmas!'

Okay, this will probably land me in hot water, but hey! Bring it on. The following is a joke, and it is only a joke. And since Ebonics occupied the national spotlight several years ago, I don't feel the least bit guilty for posting this.

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus;
An' all ower de hood;
ereybody wuz' sleepin';
Dey wuz sleepin' good.

We hunged up our stockins;
An hoped like de' heck;
That ol Sanna Clause;
Be bringin' our wayo-fare check.

All o'de fambily;
Wuz layin in de beds;
Why-o Ripple and Thunduhbird;
Dance tru' dey heads.

I passt out onna' flo;
Right nex to my Maw;
When I heard sech a fuss;
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out tru de bars;
What cuh-vuhed my doe;
'spectin' de po-lees;
Wif a warrent fo sho.

And what did I sees;
I said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
They' wuz a huge waht-uh-mellon;
Pode by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all de years;
Sanna Claus, he be white;
But looks liken us bros;
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

Faster dan a Po'lees cah;
My home boy he came;
He whupped on dem warf rats;
An' called dems by name!

On Leroy, on Tyrone ;
And on Willie Lee;
On Latasha, on Shaneequa;
Dey wuz a site to see!!

As he landed dat watta' mellon;
Out der in da skreet;
I knowed it was fo' sho';
Da damndest site I ebber did see.

He didn't go down no chimbley;
He picked da' lock on my doe;
An' I sez to myself;
"Dang!! He done dis befoe!!!"

He had dis big bag;
Full of prezents I 'xpect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold;
To wear roun' my neck.

But he left no good prezents;
Jus started stealing my sheit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my car-jackin' kit!!

Wit my stuff in de bag;
Out da window he flewed;
I woudda' tried to catched him;
But he stoled my 'nife too!!

He jumped on dat wadda' mellon;
An' whipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon';
Dat son of a ****!!

Next year I be hopin':
Anutha Sanna we git;
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause;
Jus' ain't werf a sheit!!![/b]

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