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inthesticks
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« on: October 04, 2006, 07:21:43 AM » |
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So, how can you tell an Arkansas native from other Southerners? Let me tell you:
In Arkansas and in all the South, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural.
An Arkansas native knows how many fish, turnip greens, purple-hull peas, butter beans or okra make up "a mess."
An Arkansas native knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
An Arkansas native can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
An Arkansas native knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in "going to town, be back directly."
An Arkansas native knows the differnce between a hissy fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "pitch" them.
True Arkansas natives say "light bread", "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Light bread is white, not whole wheat or corn bread. Sweet tea means it has sugar--we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
Even Arkansas babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Arkansas natives know when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Arkansas natives know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for someone who's got trouble is a platter of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of potato salad. If the person's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.
Arkansas natives grow up up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be a mile or 20. "Right smart" is a measurement of quantity.
An Arkansas native knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy and a peckerwood and that they all rank higher than a sorry sucker.
No true Arkie would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
Arkansas natives make friends while standing in lines, and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody.
Put 20 Arkansas natives in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
Arkansas natives know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Arkansas native knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red-eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Arkansas native.
A true Arkansas native knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 miles an hour on the freeway. You just say, "bless her heart" and go your own way.
And for all you newcomers who are still having a hard time understanding all this Arkansas and southern native stuff, bless your hearts, we hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language.
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