Since Leisa10 already got the elevator one:
Air Force Recruiter
The chief of staff of the U.S. Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand-new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked as if they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand, and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looked at him and said, "I'm a pilot!"
The general got all excited, turned to his aide, and said, "Get him in today, all the paperwork done, everything, do it!" The aide hustled the young man off.
The general looked at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man said, "I chop wood!"
"Son," the general replied, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force. What do you know how to do?"
"I chop wood!"
"Young man," huffed the general, "you are not listening to me. We don't need wood choppers; this is the 21st century!"
"Well," the young man said, "you hired my brother!"
"Of course we did," said the general. "He's a pilot!"
The young man rolled his eyes and said, "But I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
