>                 Canine's  Letters to God     
>                   TO:  GOD
>                 FROM: THE DOG
>
> Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but  seldom, if ever,
> smell one another?
>
> Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
> is it still the same  old story?
>
> Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
> cougar, the mustang, the  colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named
> for a dog? How often  do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
> Would it be so  hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the ' Chrysler Beagle'?
>
> Dear God:  If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
> human hears him, is he  still a bad dog?
>
> Dear God:  We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,
> hand signals, whistles,  horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic
> energy fields, and  Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
> Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
> Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I 
> have to apologize?
>
> Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
> must remember to be a  good dog.
>
> 1. I will  not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after
> they throw it up. 
>
> 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just 
> because I like the way they smell.
>
> 3. The Litter Box is not a  cookie jar.
>
> 4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
>
> 5. The  garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
> 6. I will not play  tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on
> the toilet.
>
> 7.  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable
> way of saying  'hello'.
>
> 8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm  under
> the coffee table .
>
> 9. I must shake the rainwater  out of my fur before entering the
> house - not after.
>
> 10. I will not  come in from outside and immediately drag my
> butt.
>
> 11. I will not  sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
> crotch.
>
> 12. The  cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and
> he makes that  noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
> P.S. Dear  God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles 
> back? 


After the last week, these brought a smile to my face!