A man suffered a serious heart attack, and awakened after having open
heart surgery to find himself in a Catholic Hospital.

   The next day, one of the nuns entered his room to asked him
questions about how he was going to pay for his surgery and hospital
stay.

   She asked, "Do you have health insurance?"

   He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

   The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

   He replied, "No money in the bank."

   The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?"

   He said, "I only have an old maid of a sister, who is a nun."

   The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not
   old maids!  Nuns are married to God."

   The patient replied, "Perfect.  Send the bill to my brother-in-law.'"