I wanted to share my philosophy with you; it's all about "driving to annoy during
your shopping days":


Rule No. 1: When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle
of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to
prevent others from passing.

Rule No. 2: Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as
possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.

Rule No. 3: In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and
have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one,
drive up halfway and stop on the line, taking both.

Rule No. 4: As you pull into a spot, if you see that the
space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver
signalling to take it, pull through and take it from him.

Rule No. 5: Always park close enough to the adjacent car
so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze
into his or her car.

Rule No. 6: When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent
vehicle with your door really hard.

Rule No. 7: When driving through the parking lot, ignore the
painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a
high rate of speed.

Rule No. 8: When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a
friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are
stopped in the middle of the road. The same rule applies to
picking up and discharging passengers.

Rule No. 9: When a vehicle from the opposite direction is
signalling and waiting for a parking space, position your
car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you
take it.

Rule No. 10: If you have handicapped license plates, use up
a regular parking spot.

Rule No. 11: If you hit the adjacent car with your door and
leave a dent, wait for a car, which is painted the same colour
as yours, to drive down the aisle looking for a place to park.
Then back out, giving up your spot like "Mr. Good Guy," and
park somewhere else.[/b]