Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?- To improve his bite.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?- Frostbite.

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?- Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?- With scare spray.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?- No, they eat the fingers separately.

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?- Because they don't have any body to go out with.

What is a vampire's favorite sport?- Casketball.

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?- Shrinkenstein.

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's cornflakes?- A cereal killer.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?- Dead ends.

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?- Bloodhounds.

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?- A stake sandwich.

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?- A trombone.

What do birds give out on Halloween night?- Tweets.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?- They have bat breath.

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?- He heard it had great circulation.

Why don't mummies go on vacation?- They are afraid that they might relax and unwind.