Top 10 Reasons Hanukkah is Better than Christmas

10. There's no "Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special."
9.   Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).
8.   No need to clean the chimney.
7.   There's no latke-nog.
6.   Burl Ives doesn't sing Hanukkah songs.
5.   You won't be pressured to buy Hanukkah Seals.
4.   You won't see, "You're a Schlemiel, Charlie Brown."
3.   No barking dog version of "I had a Little Driedl."
2.   No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.

and the Number 1 reason why Hanukkah is better than Christmas...

1.   Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.