One of my friends in Texas sent me this so I thought I would send it on.
Since all of us are going through a heat wave anyone want to add to it?

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN JULY WHEN. . . .
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
 The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.
God Bless Our State of TEXAS !!

that sounds like wher I live :shock:  :twisted:

Diary Of Wisconsin & Arizona

Dear Diary:

August 2: Moved to our new home in Wisconsin. It is so beautiful here. The forests are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see them all covered with snow. God's Country. I love it here!

October 14: Wisconsin is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turning and beginning to color. I love the bright shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through a beautiful forest and spotted some deer. They are so graceful. They are certainly the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise!

November 11: Deer Season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I really love it here!

December 2: It finally snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks just like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I love Wisconsin.

December 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snow-plow did his trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland, but pretty cold!

December 19: More snow last night. Couldn't even get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling this stuff. Darn that old snow-plow!

December 22: More of that white sh*t fell last night. I've got blisters from shoveling this nonsense. I think the snow plow man hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the darn driveway, then he plows the f**king street, the A**hole!

December 25: "White Christmas" my busted grits! More f**king snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-twitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the stupid bastard. Why don't they use more salt on the roads to melt all this ice.

December 28: Guess what? More white sh*t fell last night. Been inside since Christmas f**king day except for shoveling out the driveway every time the "Snow Plow from Hell" comes by. Can't go anywhere, the car's buried in a mountain of frozen white sh*t. The weatherman says to expect another 10" tonight. Do you know how many shovels- full of white sh*t 10" is?

January 1: Happy F**king New Year! The weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of the white sh*t this time. At this rate, it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the sh*thead driver had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I'd already broken 6 shovels digging out from under all the white sh*t he pushes back into my driveway and broke my last shovel over his G-D head.

January 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food. On the way back a God damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit the f**ker. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those worthless deer sh*t-dropping road hazards should be exterminated. Wish the f**king hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3: Took the new car to the garage in town. Would you believe the body is rusting out from all that f**king salt they dumped on the roads all winter. My car looks like a piece of sh*t!

July 1: Moved to Arizona! I can't imagine why anyone on their right mind would ever move to that God Forsaken State of Wisconsin.

July 2: Saw a wonderful sunset this evening. I now understand "Purple Mountains Majesty". Why do people live anywhere but here?

July 3: A lightning storm came last night. The sky was all lit. It was truly awesome! This morning the sky is "transparent". I can see into Mexico. Arizona is a phenomenal state!

July 4: Now this is a state that knows how to live. Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and desert blended together, what a place. Watched the fireworks at the park laying out on a blanket. It was glorious! I've finally found my home.

July 5: Really heating up, got to 100 today, not a problem, live in an air conditioned home and drive an air conditioned car. Life's full of tradeoffs. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

July 7: Had the back yard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today but I love it here.

July 10: The temperature has not been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat. At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking a little longer than I expected.

July 15: Fell asleep at poolside, got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days work. What a dumb thing to do. I've learned my lesson! I really respect the old Sun in a climate like this.

July 20: I missed Tabby our cat sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen to the size of a shopping bag and exploded over $2000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like kibbles and sh*t. No more pets in this heat.

July 25: Dry dancing Heat my A**. Hot is hot! I'd be cooler living in my oven. The home air conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman wants $200 just to drive by and tell me he needs to order parts.

July 30: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1100 f**king dollar house payment and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4: 117 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and can only cool the house down to 90. Stupid a** Mexican repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this f**king state.

August 8: If another sh*thead cracks, "Hot enough for ya today", I'm going to tear his f**king throat out. Arizona is hot! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are dripping wet with sweat and I smell like roasted f**king Garfield.

August 10: The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to f**k for 2 stinking months. And the weatherman says it might really warm up this weekend. Doesn't it ever rain in the barren darn desert!

August 19: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 128 degrees today. Forgot to crack a window and blew the dancing windshield out of the Lincoln. The Mexican installer came to fix it, and said, "Hot enough for ya today." My wife had to spend the stinking $1100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

August 30: Hottest day of the G-D summer. I'm not even leaving the house. Water rationing has been in effect all summer so the $1700 worth of my "low maintenance" cactus in the yard just dried up and blew into the f**king pool Even a cactus can't live in this heat! I can't cool off in the pool now! The pool is full of f**king needles and every f**king time I f**king attempt to clean the f**king cactus needles out of the f**king pool filter I shred my f**king hands.
That does it, we're moving back to Wisconsin in time for deer season!!!


Now....I Moved from Arizona to Wisconsin, Wisconsin to Texas, back to Wisconsin...so I know how this guy feels! LOL

I hate the heat too.  Fortunately we have only had a few hot spells this summer in the Northeast.  Unfortunately we have drowned.  Supposedly they are threatening more rain this weekend!   :shock:

Not for sure what the temp is here today.  Last night I went outside, and I swear I was dripping sweat sitting still.  My hubby was mowing and after working at his job all day was saying how much better it was feeling outside ~ huh????  After the sun went down, I almost froze :oops:   Oh, the joys of having fibro!!!  I was still outside, and wrapped up in a blanket :twisted:   The kids were in the pool, so I had to stay outside and fight off the eagle sized mosquitos and my attack cats :shock:  :D