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miki
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« on: December 20, 2007, 03:52:01 PM » |
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Why is it people continually lie to build themselves up to be better than you? This really ticks me off that this current lie going around has to do with my family! I will not tolerate it, not one bit...not anymore.  To this person- Nothing but, lies...you always make everything to be bad so that you look good. You always make me feel like nonsense, why??? I love you a lot but, you really need to back off! Why do you have to make me feel and look like a failure all the time? Don't you realize how much it hurts? Sorry everyone...I just had to get this out. |
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pmeek
Beautiful Oregon Coast
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« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2007, 04:08:22 PM » |
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 So sorry to hear of your problem. I know alot of people that way. They have such low self-esteem that they only way they can feel good about themselves is to cut down someone else. The best thing to say to those people is just that "I'm sorry that you feel so bad about yourself that you have to knock me to feel good about yourself. How can I help you feel better about yourself?" That will either shut them up or ask for help.
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miki
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« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2007, 04:11:44 PM » |
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Thank you. You know what's funny? That is what these people tell me to say to others *shrugs shoulders* .
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pmeek
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« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2007, 04:13:33 PM » |
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 That is really sad. That they don't recognize their own problem.
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ping1970
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« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2007, 04:33:44 PM » |
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miki
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« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2007, 04:54:44 PM » |
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I just posted a semi-long blog in myspace about my feelings, my heartfelt feelings. Those people will see the blog and whether or not they believe it's them I don't know. I know that at the end of my blog I put this If you feel this badly about me then why do you stay in my life? Why don't you just let me go? Why must you make me look so bad all the time? I think that if you really, truly feel this way about me then it might be time to let go and move on. It hurts to think this way but, it hurts more to go through this all the time. Enough is enough...please...let go or change. Stop hurting me. I can guarantee that I am done sharing things with people. I have had trust issues already but, I now know that you can trust no one...no one at all. |
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3mnkids1
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« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2007, 09:45:46 PM » |
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sorry someone is being hurtful. especially about your family. Seems some people need to put others down to feel better. Its like they enjoy it or something. Its very sad. I know its hard to let it go, especially when it concerns family, but please try. dont let someone who has nothing going on their life so they have to try and knock you down get to ya. I hope venting made you feel better. It does help. I hope you have a great day and that this person steps in poop on their way out the door this morning.  |
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pdm
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« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2007, 10:47:40 PM » |
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Been there myself with family members. It hurt me for years then one day I realized that it wasn't me and that I had no reason to feel bad about myself. They were the ones who had a problem and until they realized they had a problem it was nothing I could do about it. Have they changed? No and probably never will change but I refuse to let them make me feel bad about myself anymore.
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lidarkside
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« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2007, 12:14:16 AM » |
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I think you're looking at this person the wrong way. Don't get mad at them, pitty them. People who do this have very low self-esteem. They're insecure and feel badly about themselves. It may not show on the outside, but it's there on the inside. By belittling and hurting others, they are subconsciously trying to bring that person down to their level of pain. Subconsciously, they feel that they should not be the only ones to feel like this and want others to feel it too. They also "mirror". The very same things they they call themselves in their mind, they will call others.
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cinphi
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« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2007, 12:40:04 AM » |
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Sorry miki that this person is doing this to you. I have several family members who try and make me feel worthless and I have come to the conclusion that if I let them they will have power over me so I remind myself that I am a good person and I have the control over who I am so I choose not to let them affect me. I know you are venting and lots of times that's a huge relief so I'm glad you vented for your sake. You are a good person tell yourself that every day.Focus on your gifts and find the positives in your life.  |
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The girl most likely
Gunny&TheMajor
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Gunny&theMajor
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« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2007, 03:43:42 AM » |
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It took me many many years MIKI to figure OUT I was not the problem.It was the other way around. I grew UP in the most horrible horrible abuse situation you can think of possible , I am covered with scars from it and it has taken its tole on me.You cant let it get to you girlfriend. You have to open up and see its the other with the troubles trying to push her jealous low self esteem off on you and some people honestly just live off of making lies and trouble off others just for fun. I STILL to this day hun and Im 46 yrs old get very neorvous and loose my thought if I hear some person screaming at or hitting a child. I get sick hun and Im a civilian officer. You have to LEARN to brush it offf.
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tharedhead
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« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2007, 12:59:17 PM » |
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:wave:I hope you did not mind me suggesting the rice cooker (looks worried) Rice cookers are the best way to get really good Chinease restaurant style rice, in my experience.
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lidarkside
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« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2007, 01:03:42 PM » |
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:wave:I hope you did not mind me suggesting the rice cooker (looks worried) Rice cookers are the best way to get really good Chinease restaurant style rice, in my experience.
"Red" are you messing with my head? I'm so confused!!  |
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tharedhead
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« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2007, 01:08:35 PM » |
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No, Miki had got a wok and I pm'd her, then I felt like I was being-I dunno, you know how people are all like "you HAVE to have THIS handbag or THESE shoes or this dohicky" or you're worthless scum? I never want to come across like that to anybody. I was worried the rice cooker comment might've sounded like one of those "oh but you have to have a fill in the blank" |
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The girl most likely
Gunny&TheMajor
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« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2007, 02:01:12 PM » |
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:scratch:HUH??? lol Oh TIFFFFFF ... Help this airhead lady OUT...I took a wrong LEFT turn in China Town lol |
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miki
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« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2007, 06:23:20 PM » |
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Thank you for the support everyone, it's much appreciated. Sometimes these people make me so angry. It would hurt my kids too bad to completely cut them out of my life so I have to deal with it, you know? I don't want to deal with it though...hope that makes sense. I am so sick of this. Red, you totally confused me lol. I didn't get a pm from you. Do ya know how easy it is to confuse me?!  I do get what your saying with the 2nd post though. |
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The girl most likely
Gunny&TheMajor
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« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2007, 01:18:56 AM » |
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Ahhh The holidays CANT wait to see UM ...CANT wait till the LEAVE... Ill have a triple cream soda on the ROCKS please  I want you all to know out of 14 calls last night...9 were familiy ARGS & battles. |
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tharedhead
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« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2007, 05:34:52 AM » |
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My ex SIL and her kids sent some nice flowers. We're on constant look out for my brother and have 911 on speed dial in case he shows up. You know people never pay any attention to restraining orders "Tis the season to be paranoid-fa la la la..." |
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pmeek
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« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2007, 05:05:21 PM » |
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Ahhh The holidays CANT wait to see UM ...CANT wait till the LEAVE... Ill have a triple cream soda on the ROCKS please I want you all to know out of 14 calls last night...9 were familiy ARGS & battles. MMMMMMM Triple Cream Soda, now that sure sounds good! Sometimes I have to wonder whatever happened to family love. I feel so very fortunate. Although my relatives (and there are alot) may not always agree on things, we are all reasonable and only want the best for each other. A phone call would never end without the words I love you. You just never know when that phone call may be the last. If any of my family or myself died tomorrow we would all know that we were loved. I wouldn't trade my family for anything. |
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tharedhead
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« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2007, 05:19:07 PM » |
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What happend to love in my family can be reduced to one word...cocaine. My brother cleared out his IRA and blew, I kid you not $250 thousand dollars on his drug problem (and everything that went with it)
I can't even imagine having $250 thou, no less $250 thou to blow, on blow. That would buy Miki a fricking wok factory....phone calls from my brother end with threats and demands for money.
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relentless
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« Reply #20 on: February 04, 2008, 10:45:51 AM » |
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I know the reply to this thread is late but... Many of us have types of people in our families we must deal with. You can pick your friends, but ya can't pick your family. Here is how I now CHOOSE to deal with them... I only deal with them on MY terms, meaning there is usually some sort of dramatic trigger that makes you know inside your head the BS that is about to be slung your way. They don't have to know what my terms are, only I do.For example: When a certain compulsive gambling, check forging relative of mine either calls or knocks on the door hysterically crying about what someone else did to her and by the way she needs money...bla...bla...bla I reply, wow I'm sorry to hear that, and I don't have any money to lend My terms  |
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tiffandrock
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« Reply #21 on: February 04, 2008, 10:59:44 AM » |
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I feel your pain girl!! hopefully if they keep lying the lies will just build up and they will be deeper and deeper into doo doo. |
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miki
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« Reply #22 on: February 04, 2008, 04:02:16 PM » |
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I completely forgot about this thread. I am working on trying to get my dh to learn to say "no" when it comes to some people in his family. This vent was mainly about my side of the family, however, I have the same problems with his side as well.
I have started putting my foot down and I told him he needs to do the same.
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