I stink!!!!  I've got an 18 yr old who bought a truck with his dad's disability death settlement. He wrecked that truck, TOTALLED it in a week!!!!!! He won't do anything all day. He goes around the neighborhood getting high and drinking. He constantly asks for money. Doesn't feel he should pay rent, applied for jobs but nobody's hiring. Keeps telling me what kind of person would throw their own kids out in the street. (umm, I'm thinking me!) Offered to become a gigolo if that's what I want him to do (hey w/e works, :laughing:if you can get paid for it, go for it!)jk. The icing on the cake.....he's gonna blow his head off if I don't get off his grits. After all, he says, if he's dead he doesn't need a job. Help meeeeeeeeeeee. I've prayed, the one thought that sticks in my mind is lock the door. I'm one of those tho who doesn't know if God said it or the evil twitch mother in me. I KNOW I'm not doing him any favors. My g'father totally bailed me out of every situation I've been in. I came to take it for granted. I obviously grew up and I want him to.  Thanks. I feel better now....oh, wait he and his friend (same thing going on w/him) are out in my front yard throwing berries at each other! :cussing:Maybe I'll just kill him. Then, he won't need a job, right? JUST kidding...

First ya gotta take a deep breath.    At 18 he should definitely have a job or be in school. You arent a bad mother it just sounds like you are at your breaking point. I think we have all been there at one time or another.  If he is making threats about killing himself it should be taken seriously. He may just being trying to get a rise out of you but he could be serious too.

Is there anyway you can sit down with him calmly and talk? Not while you are angry? Im sorry you are going through this and I hope you find a way to talk to him.

I don't have any good advice to give you but, wanted to give you a hug. You are not a terrible mother! 

I am giving this advice out of personal experience with my son. Take him to a psychologist and have him tested for Bipolar disorder. At least read up on the disorder if you don't know anything about it. He might not have it but I've been in the same boat and would have never guessed that it was bipolar.

Well, here's an update...BTW thanks so much for your thoughts and support. He told me he'd get a job or talk to a recruiter when HE feels like and when HE wants to.  Then, I overheard him talking to his best friend aka fellow slacker. He told him to tell his mom that he's just gonna do himself in to get her off his back. God, WHERE did I go wrong? Now, I don't know what to do. We're moving @ the end of the month. He's thinking he's gonna go w/us. But,I can't afford to support him. To be honest, I don't want or feel I should have to support him. He got kicked OUT of school, got his GED and does nothing.  

leisa10,

Of you are a terrible mother, I don't know what that makes me - maybe more terrible?

All three of my sons were godawful, trust me, before they were 21 or 22. I had to kick 2 of them out before they were 18 - well, I sent them to their Dad (we were divorced). The third one went to his mother (I was the step-mother) AFTER a felony conviction for stealing computers from the high school. We tried EVERYTHING, my new husband, Mom, and me; believe me, we tried and tried and tried.

Lo and behold, AFTER each of them hit bottom, they turned around and by 22 (at the latest), they "got it."
Now, each of my three boys has a college degree, they work, 2 of them are married, and I have the greatest grandchildren!!!! And, they all live in Texas, after "traveling" for one or two years before they "grew up", and 2 of them live in Austin, near me (but not "next door"). And, I am SO very proud of all of them

The main thing, I think, is not to "close the door" on your son. Leave it open a little bit. When I threw my sons out, I said something like, "When you decide to make good choices, my door will be open for you. Until then, don't come back, even for a sandwich."

Tell him that he isn't going to go to the new house; just tell him. Say that you love him dearly, but it's time to move out. Give him a deadline, and stick to it.

I know it's painful - god, do I know I thought, each time, that my sons were lost to me, and that I'd never see any one of them again. But, if you raised him right (and I KNOW that you did), the strength that you and God gave him will assert itself, and he will decide to make the right choices.

Hang in there...

Kate