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Author Topic: kids say the darnedest things  (Read 9693 times)
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ping1970
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« Reply #60 on: September 12, 2008, 07:36:25 AM »

no! no! this is a ummm, a  different dog.. yeah, a different dog allll together. I wouldnt lie to ya.  whistle

Yeah, I believe ya to...and I will take that dog and give you a husband!  Sounds like a fair trade to me headbang
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« Reply #61 on: September 12, 2008, 08:25:02 AM »

I'll throw in a teenage daughter.
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« Reply #62 on: September 12, 2008, 08:30:18 AM »

I'll throw in a teenage daughter.

Ohhhhhh.....a 2 for 1 special ~ you and I can split the dog...half a year for you and half a year for me!!!  She can have hubby and daughter full time!
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« Reply #63 on: September 12, 2008, 09:18:01 AM »

oh if y'all only knew..   That is a bargain!   
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drgnldy812
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« Reply #64 on: September 15, 2008, 11:42:42 AM »

My husband was strapping our four year old into his car to go to a birthday party.  My husband looked around, handed me some garbage and said, "geez, this car is full of crud" trying to watch his language.  My son looked around and said "yeah dad, its full of nonsense too, you should do something about this mess."  I am still laughing now over this one since it is usually my suv tends to be the family car and is usually a mess! 
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« Reply #65 on: September 24, 2008, 06:10:30 PM »

My husband was strapping our four year old into his car to go to a birthday party.  My husband looked around, handed me some garbage and said, "geez, this car is full of crud" trying to watch his language.  My son looked around and said "yeah dad, its full of nonsense too, you should do something about this mess."  I am still laughing now over this one since it is usually my suv tends to be the family car and is usually a mess! 

augh.

Last year, I was at my daughter's "daddy/daughter day" and we're all sitting around and chatting about "men things" Cars, jobs, women.. wait, I wasn't involved with that one...

ANYWAY....something came up about cars and how messy the a car can gets.

My darling daughter turns around and goes "Daddy's car is always clean. That's because he's gay. Gay guys aren't slobs like straight guys."

Insert Asian shocked-fainting-and-blushing all at the same time smilie right here.

 crazy tongue laughing laughing

You can not imagine how much flak I get from the guys now.  nono laughing laughing
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completelyme
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« Reply #66 on: September 24, 2008, 10:34:12 PM »

I think I actually peed a little reading that, Michael!!!!!  laughing laughing

Buy that little girl whatever she wants!  headbang  I would have laughed until I cried and then some  laughing
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gorgor
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« Reply #67 on: September 25, 2008, 05:01:29 PM »

I think I actually peed a little reading that, Michael!!!!!  laughing laughing

Buy that little girl whatever she wants!  headbang  I would have laughed until I cried and then some  laughing

oh please. She has two fathers. She's totally spoiled beyond belief.  nono

At least she isn't a brat. I cant' stand that. But she knows how to bat her eyes and go "Daddy... PLLLLLLLLLLLEAAAAAAAASE"

And she knows which father to go to for what.  nono

When we were in California (we moved back, I'm not sure if I told you guys that), my daughter came up to me with the paper one day, tears in her eyes and put it in my lap.

There was an article about how since so many folks are losing homes, so many animals were showing up at the shelter. I sat her on my lap and tried to explain that we didnt' have a farm anymore, we had a house.

And we already had dogs, a cat, foxes and we couldn't take anymore. And she cried. But I stuck to my guns. Trust me, I felt bad but we didnt' NEED any more animals.


Daughter goes to David the next Saturday and asks if they can go out for a drive. She, her brothers and David go out.


They come back about four hours later.. they went to Petsmart who was having a pet fair for the Humane Society with 6 black bear hamsters (my sons), and THREE guinnea pigs... and cages, food, watering idshes. oh dear god.

The guinnea pigs were sisters and of course we couldn't take one.. we had to take all three.

sigh....

the pigs were named by David "Eeney, meany, miney" becuase I wanted "NO MO"  laughing

Last week, she asked David to pick her up from a friends house after school. Seems the friends cat had kittens and she had two left and NATURALLY, we had to take both of them.

help me. sigh.

By the way, the Guinea pigs are now best friends with Arty, the fox. they all sleep toether in a big box at night and in the morning, after the kids leave, david lets them out in the house and they run around the house. They see me and run tho. I guess I'm the big bad wolf to them.  nono laughing

But GOD do they squeal so loud when my daughter comes home. They are LOUD little things!

I may have to turn the farm into a petting zoo if this keeps up nono
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pmeek
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« Reply #68 on: September 25, 2008, 05:26:02 PM »

 laughing  Sounds like daddys' little girl is a smart one!! What a lucky little girl to have 2 daddys to spoil her.
  Well you sure didn't stay in CA very long. Didn't you like that fast paced life?
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« Reply #69 on: September 25, 2008, 05:47:53 PM »

laughing  Sounds like daddys' little girl is a smart one!! What a lucky little girl to have 2 daddys to spoil her.
  Well you sure didn't stay in CA very long. Didn't you like that fast paced life?

 My family and friends are back in VA and my best friend and his BF moved back to VA shortly before that after a job fell out and Flamers mother and step dad moved back there to the home I built.

Plus David's family is in Richmond, we were just too far away from everyone.

And no, I didn't like California at all. My 9 year old son came home the second day of school and told me explicit details of another 9year old told him what a blow job was and my daughter was told she wasn't cool becuase she was adopted. This at a very exclusive private school.  cussing


I'll stick with the farmers and their daughters... wait.. that didnt' sound right did it?  crazy tongue
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pmeek
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« Reply #70 on: September 25, 2008, 06:04:57 PM »

 crazy tongue You must have been kicking yourself in the behind all the way back to VA!  I don't care much for southern CA. I just don't like all the rush rush rush.
 Your story reminds me of "Green Acres is the place to be......"  There's no place like home!
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« Reply #71 on: September 25, 2008, 06:38:17 PM »

crazy tongue You must have been kicking yourself in the behind all the way back to VA!  I don't care much for southern CA. I just don't like all the rush rush rush.
 Your story reminds me of "Green Acres is the place to be......"  There's no place like home!

It's not brigadoon but it's home. Last year, my daughter had some problems wtih a ministers son. long story short, that and the chance of being finally legally married, we moved out there.  love

But it wasnt' for us. From the begining, I didn't like it. But David loved it so I was willing to stay.

When things started going wrong and he started to miss his family, we all talked about it and went back home. I missed going over to David's parents home on Sundays. We do it every Sunday. The kids loved having grandparents for the first time and really missed them.

And yeah, it's no place like home.

I did have a good offer on the house, made a nice profit so we're going to sell it.
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tlpounds
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« Reply #72 on: October 18, 2008, 01:33:50 PM »

My 4 year old grand daughter was fixing me a play meal and I asked her what she was fixing.

Instead of saying Chinese she said "Siamese"!

They said never to eat at a Chinese food restaurant where you don't see any cats around!  laughing
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« Reply #73 on: November 08, 2008, 03:30:09 AM »

Today is my daughters 13th birthday.  I give her a hug and say yeah! you are officially a teenager now and my 6 yr old says... does that mean she gets to cuss now.   scratch      laughing   no she doesn't get to cuss now.
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« Reply #74 on: November 08, 2008, 07:23:40 AM »

Today is my daughters 13th birthday.  I give her a hug and say yeah! you are officially a teenager now and my 6 yr old says... does that mean she gets to cuss now.   scratch      laughing   no she doesn't get to cuss now.

 laughing
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« Reply #75 on: November 08, 2008, 03:28:52 PM »

Its definitely  different in the south. Not that I spank mine often but In FL it wasn't a big deal to see parents popping their little ones on the butt in the store. Up here though forget about it.  nono  You cant even say "Im gonna spank your butt" .. I think that is a little crazy.


When my oldest was 3, he threw a fit at the mall of all places.  He was having a bad day and was being difficult the entire day to say the least.  He wanted one of those giant gumballs and when I said no, he hurled his sippy cup and hit me in the hand.  I swatted his backside and told him very sternly that I had had enough through clenched teeth.  I had been kneeling so he could take in all of my scowl  laughing and when I started to stand up, a couple of women walked by me muttering something and looking at me with disapproval.  I didn't hesitate to ask them if they wanted to take him home...as I flipped them off.

I've never looked at another parent like that.  In fact I usually look at them with empathy.  I figure if they're swatting their kid the kid earned that swat.
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« Reply #76 on: December 03, 2008, 11:46:55 PM »

So my daughter wakes me up at 12:30 this morning saying she has a piece of pencil lead in her eye..   crazy tongue   so we go into the bathroom and sure enough there is this huge piece of lead in there.. really grossed me out. so Im trying to get it and she keeps blinking and im trying to keep her bangs outta her face so I can see what im doing and the whole time im going eww, ewww, ewwwwww... I cant get it out.

now this whole time she is extremely calm.. freakishly calm.  I get my hair clip and get her bangs out of her face so we can atleast see her eyes and she says let me try.  she is messing around with her eye trying to get this thing out.. im freaking out and she says.. would you stop making noises.   cussing   cant help it, its grossing  me out. she gets it out and I say sorry I couldnt be more help and she says.. its ok mom, you did get the hair out of my face.   laughing    yeah! mom to the rescue.   

apparently she was drawing and the lead broke and popped up into her eye..  weird.
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ping1970
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« Reply #77 on: December 04, 2008, 04:38:22 PM »

I would rather do that than watch one of mine wiggle a loose tooth.  I can't stand it!  It makes me so sick at my stomach...it is terrible ~ yuck!
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« Reply #78 on: January 24, 2009, 06:36:49 PM »

 When we were in California, for that short time! ha!, we had the kids enrolled in private school. Of course, Michael shows up, and every head snap. And then I walk in  crazy tongue

I had the boys and were enrolling them and Michael had our daughter and enrolling her (it was seperate tables).

The lady at the school was asking who Michael was and Michael said "I'm her father" Mei Li turns and points to me and says "that's my other Daddy."

The lady gives us both a usual hateful look we gays get. Groan.

Then she snippily goes to Mei Li "Oh well, he can't both be your REAL Daddies"

I'm about to run over and rip her head off when Mei Li touches Michaels arm, walks over and touches us and smuggly smirks at the woman and goes "They feel real to me"

shut that witch up right away  laughing laughing laughing
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« Reply #79 on: January 25, 2009, 01:00:03 AM »

I swatted his backside and told him very sternly that I had had enough through clenched teeth.  I had been kneeling so he could take in all of my scowl  laughing and when I started to stand up, a couple of women walked by me muttering something and looking at me with disapproval.  I didn't hesitate to ask them if they wanted to take him home...as I flipped them off.

I've never looked at another parent like that.  In fact I usually look at them with empathy.  I figure if they're swatting their kid the kid earned that swat.

Footnote:
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/162/9/1578

Quote
Among children under age 5 years in the United States who were murdered in the last quarter of the 20th century, 61% were killed by their own parents: 30% were killed by their mothers, and 31% by their fathers (1). Estimates by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for 1994 indicated that homicide was the fourth leading cause of death for preschool children and the third leading cause of death among children from ages 5–14 years (2). In the United States, the incidence of homicide of children less than 1 year old has increased over the past quarter-century (1). Compared to other developed nations, the United States has the highest rate of child homicide: 8.0/100,000 for infants, 2.5/100,000 for preschool-age children (age 1–4 years), and 1.5/100,000 for school-age children (age 5–14 years) (3). In contrast, Canada’s reported rate for homicide of infants was less than half that of the United States: 2.9/100,000 (3). Furthermore, multiple authors have suggested that rates of child murder by parents are underestimated in epidemiological studies of child death (4–6).
 
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« Reply #80 on: February 23, 2009, 10:12:54 AM »

My youngest was snoring up a storm again this morning. He has a cold so its sooo much worse. anyway, I asked him to roll over and he asked.. which way? uh, either way will work son. just roll..   laughing
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« Reply #81 on: February 23, 2009, 11:35:47 AM »

i asked my 6 year old son what he had for lunch at school today he said ..a $5 footlong....i said what??? and my daughter said they had foot long hot dogs ................i think my son has seen the subway commerical too many times
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« Reply #82 on: February 23, 2009, 02:25:02 PM »

At my son's preschool, they have a day where one child is the "star".  On my son's day, he showed a picture of being in NYC and told everyone that he rode on the subway.  So his teacher asked him if he liked the subway--he said "No, I don't like subs."  Not sure if he gets what the subway really is!

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« Reply #83 on: February 24, 2009, 04:24:28 AM »

I cant get that subway song out of my head now.. 5! 5! 5 dollar fooootloooongs! thanks.    laughing
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