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champagne
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« on: February 26, 2008, 03:33:13 AM » |
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I'm going through my worst nightmare and i'm sooooo upset. My heart has been ripped from my chest. My eyes are bleeding. And my soul is gone. I can't stop crying. I leave work everyday early because I can't cope. I just want to die but I can't because my daughter needs me, but I am rock-bottom and am trying to be strong. I'm not as strong as everyone thinks.
:cry:Champagne
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cinphi
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« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2008, 03:53:37 AM » |
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Brandy I am so sorry you are going through a tough time. My prayers go out to you and if I can be of any confort please let me know.  Cindy |
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champagne
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« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2008, 04:17:47 AM » |
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thank you so very much cin.... this means more to me than you know..... i want to go to bed and never wake up again.... i'm sorry to be such a downer... but i just can't smile.. at least not the way i used to...  |
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tlpounds
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« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2008, 04:19:24 AM » |
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I'm very sorry to hear that you're so down. I hope you do know that there are people here thinking about you and praying that you'll cheer up. |
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cinphi
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« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2008, 04:27:48 AM » |
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thank you so very much cin.... this means more to me than you know..... i want to go to bed and never wake up again.... i'm sorry to be such a downer... but i just can't smile.. at least not the way i used to... I promise you it will get better with time and you are a strong person. I have no doubt so that strength will get you through this. |
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champagne
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« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2008, 04:34:03 AM » |
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Yes cin.. it may get better ... but i'll never forget the pain this has caused.. never!!
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cinphi
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« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2008, 04:47:15 AM » |
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Yes cin.. it may get better ... but i'll never forget the pain this has caused.. never!!
You're right but it will make you a stronger person in the end. Right now you are still in the hurting stage and you go ahead and cry all you need to and rely on those friends of yours to help you through. |
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champagne
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« Reply #7 on: February 26, 2008, 05:06:16 AM » |
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cin.. i haven't even told my friends... they just know that something has devistated me but dont know what.... i feel like i'm trying to see in the dark... thank you cin....
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3mnkids1
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« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2008, 05:44:51 AM » |
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Im sorry you are hurting champ. If ya need to talk shoot me a pm. |
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champagne
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« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2008, 05:55:56 AM » |
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Im sorry you are hurting champ. If ya need to talk shoot me a pm. thank you |
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leisa10
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« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2008, 06:01:18 AM » |
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I don't know what happened but God never gives us more than we can handle, even tho it may seem like He does. I will say a prayer for you. Hopefully, your daughter will bring some sunshine to combat the storm. You are a great mother to remember your responsibility in this time of strife. PM me if you want to talk.
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champagne
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« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2008, 06:13:06 AM » |
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Thank you as well Lesia....
And I'm sorry to those I've ever hurt here at SA... that was never any intension of mine....
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pmeek
Beautiful Oregon Coast
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Posts: 33266
Mood:Happy 
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2008, 06:36:59 AM » |
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 So sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Nothing is worse than having a job you hate, but but keep going because you need the paycheck. (been there, done that) I'm sure alot of people can relate to this. What use to help me was just to try and think positive that a new job would soon be coming my way. That no matter how bad I thought my job was I would still do my best and try to be thankful that I had a job and that there are worse jobs than the one I have. Make a list of the things that you don't like about your job and try to come up with positive ways that you can make it more bearable. Don't be afraid to ask for help here or at your place of employment. Most employers want their employees to be happy and will try to do what they can to help. Will have you in my thoughts and prayers.
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champagne
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« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2008, 07:00:57 AM » |
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So sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Nothing is worse than having a job you hate Pmeek... This has NOTHING to do with my job.... AT ALL........ but thank you for even caring... |
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leisa10
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« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2008, 07:11:15 AM » |
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I don't think you've hurt anyone here? All your posts are positive and congratulatory. Whatever do you mean?  Did somebody here upset you? |
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champagne
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« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2008, 07:17:50 AM » |
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I don't think you've hurt anyone here? All your posts are positive and congratulatory. Whatever do you mean? Did somebody here upset you? No leisa... I'm just apologizing to those who may have felt hurt because of me here at SA... i tend to not think before replying to a comment i don't agree with... i'm learning to keep some things to myself... |
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tiffandrock
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« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2008, 07:45:34 AM » |
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You hurt me champagne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  sorry I just couldnt help it  OH geez my daughter is acting like a nut today. We had a tornado warning near us. So we cant go outside cause its storming. Well my daughter has the bunny in the cage, and she is running around the cage yelling, "Its a tornado, Its a tornado!!". kids are so wierd.
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ping1970
Crazy Cat Lady
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Don't go into a battle of the brains unarmed...
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« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2008, 10:32:02 AM » |
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Brandi ~ right now isn't the time to worry about that stuff ~ RIGHT NOW WORRY ABOUT YOU! I know a lot about this ~ I have been dealing with depression that I just didn't know what to do with for several years now. I have had that feeling of not wanting to go on ~ I know where you are ~ take a step back. Look at that little one and know that is what keeps you going. There isn't anything else that matters ~ period! You can get over anything and get through anything ~ you are a strong woman that can get through whatever ON YOUR ON!! You can always depend on YOU!
I have wonderful friends that I have met on here ~ this is where I come when I need a friend ~ please know that you can always do the same with me! There is always people that care ~ don't forget that...you have many people that love and care about you. You are many facets ~ don't let one define you!
I am here and praying for you if you need me!
Tammy
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champagne
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« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2008, 10:42:19 AM » |
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Brandi ~ right now isn't the time to worry about that stuff ~ RIGHT NOW WORRY ABOUT YOU! I know a lot about this ~ I have been dealing with depression that I just didn't know what to do with for several years now. I have had that feeling of not wanting to go on ~ I know where you are ~ take a step back. Look at that little one and know that is what keeps you going. There isn't anything else that matters ~ period! You can get over anything and get through anything ~ you are a strong woman that can get through whatever ON YOUR ON!! You can always depend on YOU!
I have wonderful friends that I have met on here ~ this is where I come when I need a friend ~ please know that you can always do the same with me! There is always people that care ~ don't forget that...you have many people that love and care about you. You are many facets ~ don't let one define you!
I am here and praying for you if you need me!
Tammy
I am seeing that ping.. that i do have friends here at SA that do care. for that i am grateful. ANd Ping... Thank you.....but my only question.... How am I going to pick myself up from the ground... |
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ping1970
Crazy Cat Lady
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Don't go into a battle of the brains unarmed...
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« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2008, 10:53:08 AM » |
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One little piece at a time...it isn't easy either ~ I won't lie to you. I can remember sitting here thinking how good it would feel to just be "done". Then you remember that you have responsiblities and you have to take care of the life that you brought into the world. So you call up someone you can talk to and you talk and you talk until you can't talk anymore ~ then you cry until until you can't cry anymore. And you do this over and over day after day. It isn't easy ~ I had my sister. But you HAVE to do it and I know that you know that.
You are a strong person ~ there is more to life than this "bump" ~ there will be more happiness! This is not where all your identity lies ~ you are still the same person and you are Brandi! Nothing else matters right now besides you and your daughter! That is the love that matters right now. Go into that love! Make yourself remember that happiness when you feel you can't go on ~ whatever it takes! If I can pull myself out, so can you!!! You are strong and you will be fine. I will be here and so will everyone else.
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champagne
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« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2008, 10:55:08 AM » |
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thank you ping..... |
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ping1970
Crazy Cat Lady
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Don't go into a battle of the brains unarmed...
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« Reply #21 on: February 26, 2008, 10:58:01 AM » |
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anytime ~ pm me if you need me!
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Wolfie
Queen of All Chocolate
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Chocolate Land
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« Reply #22 on: February 26, 2008, 03:56:38 PM » |
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Brandi:
You need to take it one minute at a time right now. Whatever it is, it won't fix itself right now. Take time to face it and get through it. The fact that you are saying you want to die really concerns me. Regardless of whether or not you think you could harm yourself, you really should contact your doctor right away. He/she can get you right into a counselor.
You have a young child who needs her mother. You need to focus on that and take whatever steps you can to make sure you are there for her.
Whatever it is, I hope the sunshine returns for you tomorrow. I wish you weren't going through this difficult time.
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champagne
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« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2008, 02:34:38 AM » |
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thank you Wolfie and I will contact my doctor on monday when my benefits at work are active. until then i called and got an emergency prescription to help me get control. my hobby is the only thing keeping me somewhat sane. I come here to read up on the wins and the questions members may have or what-not just to get my mind on something other than the devistation i'm facing.
Thank you again and I will do my best to try and get my life back.
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sweepyhead
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« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2008, 04:53:02 AM » |
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Sorry you're feeling unhappy, Champ. It's normal that we're wondering exactly the nature of the problem, but maybe you just want to vent and feel supported. You have lots of friends here. Feel better soon, sweep sistah.
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