> Subject: Fw: six lessons
>
>
>>
>>>>   > Lesson 1:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>>>>   > finishing up her
>>>>   > shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly
>>>>   > wraps herself in a
>>>>   > towel and runs downstairs.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
>>>>   > next-door neighbor.
>>>>   > Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
>>>>   > $800 to drop that
>>>>   > towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
>>>>   > her towel and
>>>>   > stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
>>>>   > Bob hands her $800
>>>>   > and
>>>>   > leaves.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
>>>>   > upstairs. When she
>>>>   > gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was
>>>>   > that?"
>>>>   >
>>>>   > "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
>>>>   > about the $800 he owes
>>>>   > me?"
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Moral of the story: If you share critical
>>>>   > information pertaining to
>>>>   > c redit and risk with your shareholders, in time,
>>>>   > you may be in a
>>>>   > position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Lesson 2:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and
>>>>   > crossed her legs,
>>>>   > forcing
>>>>   > her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
>>>>   > accident.. After
>>>>   > controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
>>>>   > her leg.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
>>>>   > priest removed his
>>>>   > hand.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
>>>>   > leg again. The nun
>>>>   > once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>>>>   >
>>>>   > The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
>>>>   > weak." Arriving
>>>>   > at
>>>>   > the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her
>>>>   > way.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>>>>   > look up Psalm 129.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
>>>>   > find glory."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
>>>>   > your job, you
>>>>   > might
>>>>
>>>>   > miss a great opportunity.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Lesson 3:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
>>>>   > manager are walking to
>>>>   > lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub
>>>>   > it and a Genie
>>>>   > comes
>>>>   > out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
>>>>   > wish."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want
>>>>   > to be in the
>>>>   > Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the
>>>>   > world."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Puff! She's gone.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
>>>>   > be in Hawaii ,
>>>>   > relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
>>>>   > endless supply of
>>>>   > Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Puff! He's gone.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. T he
>>>>   > manager says, "I
>>>>   > want those two back in the office after lunch."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
>>>>   > first say.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Lesson 4:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
>>>>   > nothing.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I
>>>>   > also sit like you
>>>>   > and do nothing?"
>>>>   >
>>>>   > The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
>>>>   > rested.. All of a
>>>>   > >sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
>>>>   > ate it.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
>>>>   > you must be
>>>>   > sitting very, very high up.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Lesson 5:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
>>>>   > be able to get to
>>>>   > the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
>>>>   > haven't got the
>>>>   > energy."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
>>>>   > droppings?" replied the
>>>>   > bull.
>>>>   > >
>>>>   > >"They're packed wi th nutrients."
>>>>   >
>>>>   > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
>>>>   > actually gave him
>>>>   > enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the
>>>>   > tree. The next day,
>>>>   > after eating some more dung, he reached the second
>>>>   > branch. Finally
>>>>   > after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched
>>>>   > at the top of the
>>>>   > tree.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
>>>>   > out of the tree.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Moral of the story: Bull **** might get you to the
>>>>   > top, but it won't
>>>>   > keep you there!
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Lesson 6:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
>>>>   > was so cold the bird
>>>>   >
>>>>   > froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
>>>>   > While he was lying
>>>>   > there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
>>>>   > dung, he began to
>>>>   > realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
>>>>   > thawing him out! He lay
>>>>   >
>>>>   > there all warm and happy, and soon began to sin g
>>>>   > for joy.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
>>>>   > investigate. .
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
>>>>   > under the pile of cow
>>>>   >
>>>>   > dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>>>>   >
>>>>   > Moral of the story:
>>>>   >
>>>>   > (1) Not everyone who s**** on you is your enemy
>>>>   >
>>>>   > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your
>>>>   > friend
>>>>   >
>>>>   > (3) And when you're in deep s***, it's best to keep
>>>>   > your mouth shut!
>>>>   >
>>>>   > This ends the 3 -minute management course
>