I just remembered a joke I heard way back in the early '70's .... and I had to share it with the old coots here!!!


Smart


1971 ...

Richard Nixon, Bella Abzug, Henry Kissinger, and a hippy were all on a private jet headed to China for a cultural exchange goodwill mission.

Of course none of the passengers really liked each other.  Richard and Henry hated Bella and the hippy.  Bella hated Richard and Henry.  Henry, of course, held everbody in distain.  And the hippy was just too stoned to care.  So,  Nixon and Kissinger were in the rear at the wet bar drinking cognac and discussing politics, Abzug stood up front telling the crew how to run the airplane, and the hippy was just slouched in an exit seat where he had lots of leg room.

Somewhere over the North Atlantic Ocean the plane's engines started sputtering and cutting out.  The copilot and stewardess came running out from the front of the plane with parachutes on, threw open the emergency door, and proceeded to jump out!

The Air Force pilot appeared next carrying 3 parachutes which he threw on the floor by the door.  Looking at the passengers he said:  "As you can see we have only 3 parachutes and there are 5 of us.  I must go down with my ship so I don't count, but you 4 have to decide among yourselves who will get them."

Richard Nixon jumped up and cried, "I am the President! Of the United States of America!!  I'm the leader of the free world, and the world needs me! There is no need for further discussion!"  He grabs a chute and strolls out the door.

"That leaves three." mutters the hippy to himself.

Bella Abzug rises, crams her broad-brimmed hat securely to her head and declares, "I am Woman!!! The women of the world rely on me to protect their rights and I must make sure my federal gay rights bill passes next week!"  She snatches up a parachute and imparts a hearty Bronx Cheer to the others as she jumps out the door.

"Just two of us left." the hippy stated.

Henry Kissinger slowly rises with dignity.  He addresses the hippy, "If you know anything, which I doubt since you are just a stupid kid, you would realize that the whole future of the planet depends on me: The smartest man alive ... The smartest man in the world!!!  So, I deserve the last parachute!"   With that comment he exits the airplane.

"Groovy." The hippy leans back, lights up a joint, starts chuckling, and then finally breaks out in a roar of laughter.

The pilot stares at him for a few seconds and then demands, "What do you think is so funny? Don't you realize that you are about to die?"

"No worries there, Mr. Establishment man,"  he says as he takes another toke and kicks at something under his seat, "the 'smartest man in the world' just jumped out of this flying machine with my backpack ...."

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Does that make us old coots?

I forgot all about Bella Abzug, and those hats!