budgeting money....help??

[ping1970]

Yep sounds like bipolar to me too. I know my ex husband has bipolar and it is a very crazy and bad life. He was spending money like crazy and would go nuts if he didn't have any. He started stealing money from me when I would tell him no more I needed the money for bills (I was the one supporting the family and holding the job). I had to finally put our children first and leave him. Our life together was a disaster, by the time we were divorced I had thousands of dollars in credit card dept, I lost my house. I struggled for years to get myself back from the disaster he created in my life all the while solely supporting our two kids. At one point it was so bad I went without a winter coat and lost 40 lbs because I did not have enough money for food and the kids needed new shoes. I can tell you it was the best thing I ever did was leaving him, he just would not admit he was sick and needed help. It was hell though I can tell you, he had me so brain washed that I could never make it on my own and that it was me that was crazy and had problems and that he thought he was just fine. So now it is 5 years after my divorce and I am doing so much better and it's like I have a whole new wonderful life. I have bought a gorgeous new home and I can pay my bills on time and I have plenty of money left over to spend as much money on groceries as I want. He on the other hand is still a mess, getting evicted from his rented apartment and calling me up asking me for money --- yeah right like I will give him any I mean he doesn't help me at all with raising our kids. And now I have the agony of finding out my oldest son has inherited his dads bipolar. While I have high hopes for him because I have invested all my energy and devotion to getting him the best treatment I can find, I still cant feel extremely sad and worried about him and what his future holds. Anyway sorry to ramble I only meant to post the symptoms of bipolar and off I went telling you my life story. What I really wanted to say is to be strong and deal with this head on because you seem like a very nice and smart person and you and your child deserve stability and happiness in your life, and that I dont think he can ever give you unless he gets stable.

Common signs and symptoms of mania include:

Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable
Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)

Common symptoms of bipolar depression include:

Feeling hopeless, sad, or empty.
Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
Fatigue or loss of energy
Physical and mental sluggishness
Appetite or weight changes
Sleeping too much or too little
Concentration and memory problems
Feelings of self-loathing, shame, or guilt
Thoughts of death or suicide

Until you posted this it didn't hit me that my ex husband was bipolar! And now that I look at the symptoms, I think Travis might be also (he is 18). Man~ that explains so much to me and I can't believe that I missed it all these years. tigercheryl ~ your story sounds so much like mine did! My ex would get abusive though when he would cycle(?) down. I am amazed!

 

[tiffandrock]

"I think Travis might be also (he is 18)."

ohh no. I hope not.

This is why I refuse to have anymore biological children. I cant risk the chance of having a boy. Every boy on the losco side of the family is completely insane.
Rocky got this from his dad. I would not pass that onto anyone if I have a say in it.

I found out that Rockys dad is gambling agian. In 3 days he drained thier bank account from $800 to 0. On gambling!!! Rockys mom is real upset they cannot pay thier bills. I think she should make him get out. But won't.
But the kicker is Rocky's dad asked Rocky if he would sign a paper to the bank or something, so that they could re re re re finance thier house. Because Rocky has a job and wayne doesn't.
Luckily Rocky said he would think about it. And when he told me, I said NO NO NO NO NO.
Rockys like, I wouldn't have to spend any money. I told him. WEll why do you think they needed someone with a job?? If something goes wrong on that house, they will come after you.
I had a long talk with rockys mom. I feel real bad for her. But there is something different between Rocky and me, and His parents. I stand up for myself. Where his mom lets the dad walk all over her. ANd Rocky actually has some redeemable qualities. Hes got some hope left...that he can be fixed.

Last night was awesome when he came home. He had a hard time at his job last night, with all his thoughts and stuff. So I wanted to do something special. I got this cheesecake thing from my mom. Everything is in the box, except sugar and milk. And you mix it, make the bottom, and then use milk and some kind of powder to make the filling, and then cherries and sauce on top. It was so yummy. Well I left him a big huge piece.
He came home and ate that. And I also searched around in this bible couples devotional book i have. I found stuff on money, angry, etc. All the stuff that kind of went with what has been happening. And I wrote down the page numbers, and told him to read it.

Well about 3 am I got up to go to the bathroom. Rocky walked by me, and he said, "I"m really liking this budget you put me on. I used to be confused at why I was missing money from my tips at night. But now I'm right on. I always just have $3 missing, and now I have more money." He hugged me and told me thank you.
Well I was really glad that he looked so happy. I decided I don't have to go back to sleep just yet.
I went and sat down to talk with him. He told me in one night he made his cellphone bill. Just in tips. ANd he was really happy, hes not having to spend money like he was.
He wants to work through are problems, and talk to his doctor, and maybe his preacher or someone. So we kissed and cuddled. And last night was a good night.

 

[3mnkids1]

that is really great tiff. Im happy that you are taking this serious and doing what it takes to make things better for your family. you should be very proud of yourself. keep us posted and ya know you can always send me a pm or email if ya want to talk.

 

[completelyme]

So very happy for you guys, sweets!! It sounds like he needed some boundaries and some unconditional love. I'm rooting for you guys, baby! I know it's tough, especially when you're as young as you 2 are but you guys will pull through and make it!