Need an opinion on personal question.

[rdsd221]

Would appreciate your opinion/help with this situation. -- My husband would take my almost 7 yr old daughter food shopping with him. They befriended the cashier. She would let my daughter help scan the items and would occasionally buy her small token gifts (hair ribbons or santa figures at xmas time). My daughter would draw her pictures, etc. We would run into her in town occasionally and buy her a drink or something. It was a very friendly aquaintance relationship. -- This women recently passed away unexpectedly. My question is, how and or should I tell my daughter. Should I just tell her or should I wait until she mentions her name. -- Never had this type of situation before in having to tell a small child about death. Thanks for your words of experience.

 

[gosweepwin]

I'm sorry to hear of your friend's passing. Personally, I would tell my child. If you follow a particular religion, your beliefs will guide your words. Sad as it will be, your child should know that her friend did not choose to leave her. Since she sounds like a caring little girl, she may also want the opportunity to say goodbye.

 

[ping1970]

If you are uncomfortable taking her to the funeral home, wait until after the burial and let her take a token to the site and leave it there, or you could always buy a balloon and let your daughter write a note and then release it in her friend's memory. I wouldn't tell her that her friend would see it or anything, but I think that your daughter is old enough to understand that her friend has passed on. My kid's first experiences was when my Momma passed away and it was so hard on all of us. Just be there and be open and caring ~ you will do the right thing!

 

[lidarkside]

I wouldn't overthink the situation. Little ones can handle quite a bit. I would just tell her that she passed away and went to heaven with God. My parents never hid death from us or made it seem unnatural. No matter how young we were, we attended all wakes and funerals with my parents. It never weirded us out or made us feel uncomfortable. To hide death from a child will make them fear it. You just have to present it as a normal part of life.

 

[cinphi]

I would also tell her because she would understand. It would be a good time to talk about God and heaven if you believe in heaven that is. Sorry to hear about her friends passing.

 

[izzblizz]

I agree with everyone else, and definitely tell her earlier rather than later. My dad recently passed away unexpectedly (and his sister passed just two months before that, expectedly). I have one neice who is 6, and then two children of my cousins' who are 7 (the granchildren of his sister). They all fully comprehended it. And having gone through two funerals in a short time, have had their sad times, but are remarkably resilient.

Maybe since she liked to draw pictures for this friend, she could make a card and donate a dollar to a designated memorial fund for the cashier? Perhaps the store where she worked would know of the appropriate fund and maybe your daughter could even drop off the card there, if you don't know the appropriate mailing address for the family?

Sorry for her loss let us know how she is doing once you tell her.