3mnkids1
New member
> Subject: Fw: six lessons
>
>
>>
>>>> > Lesson 1:
>>>> >
>>>> > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>>>> > finishing up her
>>>> > shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly
>>>> > wraps herself in a
>>>> > towel and runs downstairs.
>>>> >
>>>> > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
>>>> > next-door neighbor.
>>>> > Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
>>>> > $800 to drop that
>>>> > towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
>>>> > her towel and
>>>> > stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
>>>> > Bob hands her $800
>>>> > and
>>>> > leaves.
>>>> >
>>>> > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
>>>> > upstairs. When she
>>>> > gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was
>>>> > that?"
>>>> >
>>>> > "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>>>> >
>>>> > "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
>>>> > about the $800 he owes
>>>> > me?"
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: If you share critical
>>>> > information pertaining to
>>>> > c redit and risk with your shareholders, in time,
>>>> > you may be in a
>>>> > position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 2:
>>>> >
>>>> > A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and
>>>> > crossed her legs,
>>>> > forcing
>>>> > her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
>>>> > accident.. After
>>>> > controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
>>>> > her leg.
>>>> >
>>>> > The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
>>>> > priest removed his
>>>> > hand.
>>>> >
>>>> > But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
>>>> > leg again. The nun
>>>> > once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>>>> >
>>>> > The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
>>>> > weak." Arriving
>>>> > at
>>>> > the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her
>>>> > way.
>>>> >
>>>> > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>>>> > look up Psalm 129.
>>>> >
>>>> > It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
>>>> > find glory."
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
>>>> > your job, you
>>>> > might
>>>>
>>>> > miss a great opportunity.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 3:
>>>> >
>>>> > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
>>>> > manager are walking to
>>>> > lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub
>>>> > it and a Genie
>>>> > comes
>>>> > out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
>>>> > wish."
>>>> >
>>>> > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want
>>>> > to be in the
>>>> > Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the
>>>> > world."
>>>> >
>>>> > Puff! She's gone.
>>>> >
>>>> > "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
>>>> > be in Hawaii ,
>>>> > relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
>>>> > endless supply of
>>>> > Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
>>>> >
>>>> > Puff! He's gone.
>>>> >
>>>> > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. T he
>>>> > manager says, "I
>>>> > want those two back in the office after lunch."
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
>>>> > first say.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 4:
>>>> >
>>>> > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
>>>> > nothing.
>>>> >
>>>> > A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I
>>>> > also sit like you
>>>> > and do nothing?"
>>>> >
>>>> > The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
>>>> >
>>>> > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
>>>> > rested.. All of a
>>>> > >sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
>>>> > ate it.
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
>>>> > you must be
>>>> > sitting very, very high up.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 5:
>>>> >
>>>> > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
>>>> > be able to get to
>>>> > the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
>>>> > haven't got the
>>>> > energy."
>>>> >
>>>> > "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
>>>> > droppings?" replied the
>>>> > bull.
>>>> > >
>>>> > >"They're packed wi th nutrients."
>>>> >
>>>> > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
>>>> > actually gave him
>>>> > enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the
>>>> > tree. The next day,
>>>> > after eating some more dung, he reached the second
>>>> > branch. Finally
>>>> > after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched
>>>> > at the top of the
>>>> > tree.
>>>> >
>>>> > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
>>>> > out of the tree.
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: Bull **** might get you to the
>>>> > top, but it won't
>>>> > keep you there!
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 6:
>>>> >
>>>> > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
>>>> > was so cold the bird
>>>> >
>>>> > froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
>>>> > While he was lying
>>>> > there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>>>> >
>>>> > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
>>>> > dung, he began to
>>>> > realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
>>>> > thawing him out! He lay
>>>> >
>>>> > there all warm and happy, and soon began to sin g
>>>> > for joy.
>>>> >
>>>> > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
>>>> > investigate. .
>>>> >
>>>> > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
>>>> > under the pile of cow
>>>> >
>>>> > dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story:
>>>> >
>>>> > (1) Not everyone who s**** on you is your enemy
>>>> >
>>>> > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your
>>>> > friend
>>>> >
>>>> > (3) And when you're in deep s***, it's best to keep
>>>> > your mouth shut!
>>>> >
>>>> > This ends the 3 -minute management course
>
>
>
>>
>>>> > Lesson 1:
>>>> >
>>>> > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
>>>> > finishing up her
>>>> > shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly
>>>> > wraps herself in a
>>>> > towel and runs downstairs.
>>>> >
>>>> > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
>>>> > next-door neighbor.
>>>> > Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you
>>>> > $800 to drop that
>>>> > towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
>>>> > her towel and
>>>> > stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
>>>> > Bob hands her $800
>>>> > and
>>>> > leaves.
>>>> >
>>>> > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
>>>> > upstairs. When she
>>>> > gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was
>>>> > that?"
>>>> >
>>>> > "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>>>> >
>>>> > "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
>>>> > about the $800 he owes
>>>> > me?"
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: If you share critical
>>>> > information pertaining to
>>>> > c redit and risk with your shareholders, in time,
>>>> > you may be in a
>>>> > position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 2:
>>>> >
>>>> > A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and
>>>> > crossed her legs,
>>>> > forcing
>>>> > her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
>>>> > accident.. After
>>>> > controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
>>>> > her leg.
>>>> >
>>>> > The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
>>>> > priest removed his
>>>> > hand.
>>>> >
>>>> > But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
>>>> > leg again. The nun
>>>> > once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>>>> >
>>>> > The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is
>>>> > weak." Arriving
>>>> > at
>>>> > the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her
>>>> > way.
>>>> >
>>>> > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
>>>> > look up Psalm 129.
>>>> >
>>>> > It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will
>>>> > find glory."
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
>>>> > your job, you
>>>> > might
>>>>
>>>> > miss a great opportunity.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 3:
>>>> >
>>>> > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
>>>> > manager are walking to
>>>> > lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub
>>>> > it and a Genie
>>>> > comes
>>>> > out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
>>>> > wish."
>>>> >
>>>> > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want
>>>> > to be in the
>>>> > Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the
>>>> > world."
>>>> >
>>>> > Puff! She's gone.
>>>> >
>>>> > "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to
>>>> > be in Hawaii ,
>>>> > relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
>>>> > endless supply of
>>>> > Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
>>>> >
>>>> > Puff! He's gone.
>>>> >
>>>> > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. T he
>>>> > manager says, "I
>>>> > want those two back in the office after lunch."
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
>>>> > first say.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 4:
>>>> >
>>>> > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
>>>> > nothing.
>>>> >
>>>> > A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I
>>>> > also sit like you
>>>> > and do nothing?"
>>>> >
>>>> > The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
>>>> >
>>>> > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
>>>> > rested.. All of a
>>>> > >sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and
>>>> > ate it.
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
>>>> > you must be
>>>> > sitting very, very high up.
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 5:
>>>> >
>>>> > A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
>>>> > be able to get to
>>>> > the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
>>>> > haven't got the
>>>> > energy."
>>>> >
>>>> > "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
>>>> > droppings?" replied the
>>>> > bull.
>>>> > >
>>>> > >"They're packed wi th nutrients."
>>>> >
>>>> > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it
>>>> > actually gave him
>>>> > enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the
>>>> > tree. The next day,
>>>> > after eating some more dung, he reached the second
>>>> > branch. Finally
>>>> > after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched
>>>> > at the top of the
>>>> > tree.
>>>> >
>>>> > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him
>>>> > out of the tree.
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story: Bull **** might get you to the
>>>> > top, but it won't
>>>> > keep you there!
>>>> >
>>>> > Lesson 6:
>>>> >
>>>> > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
>>>> > was so cold the bird
>>>> >
>>>> > froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
>>>> > While he was lying
>>>> > there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>>>> >
>>>> > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
>>>> > dung, he began to
>>>> > realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
>>>> > thawing him out! He lay
>>>> >
>>>> > there all warm and happy, and soon began to sin g
>>>> > for joy.
>>>> >
>>>> > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
>>>> > investigate. .
>>>> >
>>>> > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
>>>> > under the pile of cow
>>>> >
>>>> > dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>>>> >
>>>> > Moral of the story:
>>>> >
>>>> > (1) Not everyone who s**** on you is your enemy
>>>> >
>>>> > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your
>>>> > friend
>>>> >
>>>> > (3) And when you're in deep s***, it's best to keep
>>>> > your mouth shut!
>>>> >
>>>> > This ends the 3 -minute management course
>