budgeting money....help??

tiffandrock

tiffandrock

Active member
Ok, so rocky writes down everything he spends. Its a good thing to. I know we have the money, he just wastes it. Here is how much we've spent....

August
JEA $266.00
Comcast $123.39
Car Payment $363.02
Car Insurance $195.00
Cell Phone $72.98
Mortgage $994.00
Tithes $211.00
Gas $443.00 (keep in mind hes a delivery driver, so some of that gas he got money for from papa johns)
Groceries $222.00
Car Repairs $48.00
Fast Food $181.00
Misc $60.00 (movies, etc)
People $5.25 (money he gave to homeless people, or his moocher friend)
Tips $9.00 (tips at restaurants)

September (Only 11 days this month and already spent this

JEA $181.00
Comcast $124.00
Mortgage $994.00
Tithes $119.00
Gas $140.00
Groceries $77.00
Car repaires $31.00
Fast Food $110.00
Misc $55.00 ($40 of that was from me, because I bought a double stroller, for babysitting/foster care)
People $10.00
Tips $5.00

Rocky spends a lot of money on fast food/coffee. So I told him he can only spend $3 a day on it. Hoping that will cut down how much money he spends and gives us more money for groceries.
Plus the fact Rocky hasn't had to buy groceries in a while. Because my mom bought groceries for us 2 weeks ago. And he has some kind of plan with his case worker guy...where if he buys under $80 worth of food, they will reimburse him. They send him a check back. So we have been using those checks for food.
 
I wouldnt let him spend even $3.00 a day.. what does he have to have every single day.. you do realize that even 3 a day is 90.00 a month roughly... on fast food. fast food tiff. Thats your cell phone bill.. and misc.. movies and stuff.. I know ya like movies tiff I do too but 60.00? you could really, really trim some stuff. and why is he giving money away? geez. sorry tiff but I would have my foot so far up his butt he would be tasting feet.

what is tithes? and JEA?

so in august yall spent roughly 3,400? thats more than we spent and their are 5 of us.

see if ya can sell the car and get out from under the payment.
 
3mnkids1 said:
I wouldnt let him spend even $3.00 a day.. what does he have to have every single day.. you do realize that even 3 a day is 90.00 a month roughly... on fast food. fast food tiff. Thats your cell phone bill.. and misc.. movies and stuff.. I know ya like movies tiff I do too but 60.00? you could really, really trim some stuff. and why is he giving money away? geez. sorry tiff but I would have my foot so far up his butt he would be tasting feet.

what is tithes? and JEA?

so in august yall spent roughly 3,400? thats more than we spent and their are 5 of us.

see if ya can sell the car and get out from under the payment.
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Tithes..... 10% whatever he makes to church
JEA (electric bill)
Can't sell the car. We did go down a car. I stopped using my dads car. So now I don't have that gas bill.
Coffee...he is out driving around every night..because of his job. So he gets hungry, wants coffee etc.

The $60 is not just movies. Its a bunch of little things. He bought a fishing pole... misc is like anything that doesn't go in the other catergorys
 
Tiffany!! That is a boatload of money going out every month!!

OK, some of the good things I've noticed with your budget: You've made one LOL Like Trace said there are many things that you can cut back on. That's an awful high electric bill. My electric bill(with central air) is usually about $120 and that's during a hot, muggy month where we've used the air. Normally it is around $80-90. You could cut back some there.

Sweetie, if you guys cut back, WAYYYYYY back on fast food, that would free up so much more grocery money. I know he gets hungry. Maybe he can pack a lunch/dinner on most nights.

Why does he give so much to church? My cousin's husband is a minister and they give a certain amount of his income to their church as well. Is Rocky obligated to give money to the church? That's a lot of money in itself.

You HAVE GOT to put your foot down on him giving people money! I don't care who they are...friends, the homeless, etc. Doesn't matter. You guys need that money.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, girlfriend LOL I'm tripping big ones over how much you guys have going out a month!! Do your parents get mad? Oh, and the car! What the heck is he driving? A porche?
 
ok sooo shop around for a better cable deal comcast is cable right?.. can you get satellite? it would be cheaper. or dump it all together.

he can make coffee at home and take a thermos.. you can get a coffee pot and thermos at dollar general for under 15.00 I bet.

Im all for giving but not at the expense of my family. yall need that money. cant he do 5%?

I understand the misc is for various things but misc things should only be bought when you have disposable income.. it doesnt sound like you have any disposable income right now.

you could save alot by cutting out the fast food, and the misc spending for things that aren't necessary. A fishing pole isn't necessary. unless of course he is using to fish for dinner. :laughing:

Im sorry tiff but im just amazed at the amount of money yall are spending.. the bills I get because they are fixed.. cant help that. but the money spent on fast food and stuff just blows my mind.

you dont have a home phone just the cell? a landline would be cheaper also.

I dont know what else to say.. I hope you can find some way to better budget.

Just saw competelyme's post... yeah, what she said. :laughing:
 
completelyme said:
Tiffany!! That is a boatload of money going out every month!!

OK, some of the good things I've noticed with your budget: You've made one LOL Like Trace said there are many things that you can cut back on. That's an awful high electric bill. My electric bill(with central air) is usually about $120 and that's during a hot, muggy month where we've used the air. Normally it is around $80-90. You could cut back some there.

Sweetie, if you guys cut back, WAYYYYYY back on fast food, that would free up so much more grocery money. I know he gets hungry. Maybe he can pack a lunch/dinner on most nights.

Why does he give so much to church? My cousin's husband is a minister and they give a certain amount of his income to their church as well. Is Rocky obligated to give money to the church? That's a lot of money in itself.

You HAVE GOT to put your foot down on him giving people money! I don't care who they are...friends, the homeless, etc. Doesn't matter. You guys need that money.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, girlfriend LOL I'm tripping big ones over how much you guys have going out a month!! Do your parents get mad? Oh, and the car! What the heck is he driving? A porche?
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LOL well thank you for your comments. Now I know its not just me. I am always completely stumped why we have no money. As he says. I know he says he makes alot. So he should give me some money. Instead, he spends it all, and yells at me, telling me he works so hard, has all the bills, etc. And I shouldn't complain. Or I need to get a job.

Yes my parents are very mad! My mom has over the past years, bought us groceries, etc, anything we needed, I would have to beg my mom for. Because Rocky says he doesn't have the money for it.
Now after going through all his expenses, I'm realizing the money was always there, its just the way he spends it.

The car payment. He drives a 07 ford sweepstakes focus.
He had bought a brand new car. My dad payed it off, and Rocky was paying him payments. That were real cheap. Well Rocky got in a wreck during work. The car was totalled So he had to get a new car. Rocky, being a stubborned person. Decided he didn't need my dads help no more. He went and bought a brand new car. So hes getting a big charge because of the way he bought it or whatever. (I dont know what its called). But whatever the bank tacts on to it.
The tithes. Truly I don't have a problem with it. I did for a while. Becuase he was giving his tithes, and also giving the church extra money, he called "love offerings". I totally flip out on that. So he stopped doing that.
The church doesn't make him tithe. Its his decision, from the bible I guess.
I dont know.
Hes ocd, and has alot of obsessive things. Basically he puts God, before everything else. Then he puts himself before all of us. He's very selfish, and ends up being very hypocritical...I guess because his ocd.
And with the giving people money. He can't say no. Its retarded. And he has this one friend. That is a total moocher. This guy had $30,000. From his moms house when she died. He spent that in 3 months....at strip clubs, bars, brand new convertible, that he tore up, etc. And Rocky continues to want to hang out with this loser. It makes no sense to me.
 
3mnkids1 said:
ok sooo shop around for a better cable deal comcast is cable right?.. can you get satellite? it would be cheaper. or dump it all together.

he can make coffee at home and take a thermos.. you can get a coffee pot and thermos at dollar general for under 15.00 I bet.

Im all for giving but not at the expense of my family. yall need that money. cant he do 5%?

I understand the misc is for various things but misc things should only be bought when you have disposable income.. it doesnt sound like you have any disposable income right now.

you could save alot by cutting out the fast food, and the misc spending for things that aren't necessary. A fishing pole isn't necessary. unless of course he is using to fish for dinner. :laughing:

Im sorry tiff but im just amazed at the amount of money yall are spending.. the bills I get because they are fixed.. cant help that. but the money spent on fast food and stuff just blows my mind.

you dont have a home phone just the cell? a landline would be cheaper also.

I dont know what else to say.. I hope you can find some way to better budget.

Just saw competelyme's post... yeah, what she said. :laughing:
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comcast bill....is cable and internet together
We have two cell phones. But he only has a bill for his. My parents pay mine, cause its on thier plan.
His parents want him to be on thier plan, but he would have to dump his cell plan, and they said it would be $200, because of his contract
He's got a coffee pot. He likes those ice coffees. He told me he thinks its probably an addiction. LIke he feels he has to spend money when hes out and about.
Hes been starting to pack a lunch. But then that takes away from our groceries we have at home.
When I tell him he can't buy something. He freaks out. Tells me he made the money. He can't live if he can't spend some money.
His dad has lots of problems with money, and he gambles. I guess thats where Rocky gets the problem with money. Except thank God Rocky doesn't gamble.
 
I think Trace and I need to have a little talk with Rocky. Get him all straightened out :laughing:

Guess what, babydoll?! That's YOUR money too! I'm not going to give you any more advice because it's none of my business. I think you pretty much know what it is you have to do to get a handle on the situation. Stay strong!! Maybe now that you're bringing in some money too that will help. Man, at least I hope so!

OK, I will say one thing :laughing: Tell him you have a job and from here on out you will be complaining. Oh yeah! Complaining big time! You both are working now so he can kiss that argument goodbye. You deserve to not have to worry about bills and food, tiff. You're a mom and you shouldn't have to worry about how broke he's making your family. Good luck with everything!!
 
completelyme said:
I think Trace and I need to have a little talk with Rocky. Get him all straightened out :laughing:

Guess what, babydoll?! That's YOUR money too! I'm not going to give you any more advice because it's none of my business. I think you pretty much know what it is you have to do to get a handle on the situation. Stay strong!! Maybe now that you're bringing in some money too that will help. Man, at least I hope so!

OK, I will say one thing :laughing: Tell him you have a job and from here on out you will be complaining. Oh yeah! Complaining big time! You both are working now so he can kiss that argument goodbye. You deserve to not have to worry about bills and food, tiff. You're a mom and you shouldn't have to worry about how broke he's making your family. Good luck with everything!!
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Thank you. lol I wish you two would have a talk with him. Probably wouldn't help though. I seriously need to get a recorder and record some of the things he says. He is very selfish.
I think Since we been together. I never had to realize how much he spends, and how selfish he is "with his money" as he thinks.
Because everytime we needed something my mom would buy it. When kailey was little, I think my mom bought more diapers, then Rocky did. But my mom and dad have cut me off, basically. They won't give me anymore money. If i need money I have to go work for my dad.
My mom and dad said they are saving for thier retirment and can't keep giving me, my sister money. They only give my brother money now, because he is still in college.
Truthly they shouldn't be giving me money anymore.

Well thanks for all your advice. I will update you at the end of the month. Hopefully there will be an improvement, with the money.
 
Tiff...I feel for you but you do have to cut back on things...I gave up cable...now I watch my favorite shows online...luckily I live in a house that is paid for...it isnt a great house but it is mine...plus I have started using coupons ALOT...you have to plan it out...I have cut my grocery bill by almost 60% by planning out how I use my coupons...I could probably cut it more if I had more choices to shop at...I live in a small town with 1 Walmart and 2 local grocery stores...plus I send for lots of free samples of stuff....and Rocky can learn how to make iced coffee at home..it isnt hard...I make it all the time...I rarely eat out anymore at all... I used to spend over 150 on fast food a month now I spend maybe 30... when I got fired from Walmart I wanted to take time off from going back to work...so I made a strict budget...I lived on $800 a month.. I actually saved money by getting DSL with my landline plus I have a cellphone...when I get my credit cards payed off my bills will only total about $500 a month... I think you should check into Medicaid again because now that you have a mortgage and other household bills I just cant believe that you would not qualify for it...plus there is an insurance just for kids too...in ND it is the Kids Now program for people who work that cannot afford insurance for their children. Have you looked into reduced lunches at the school...the income limits are alot higher than you think for a family of 3...sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get out of the hole and Rocky needs to understand this or you are just going to get deeper and deeper into debt. My parents help me out alot too but I have never had them help me with household bills...my mom does help out with my daughters extracurricular activities but that is because she wants her in them and she is the only grandkid...so they dont mind paying for things for her. I hope things start turning around for you...at least you can claim the tithes on your taxes...but he should cut back until you guys are more finacially sound and then increase it again later when you can afford it....I am sure the church would understand. Well good luck !
 
WOW tiff, that is a lot of spending! Heck, that is way more than we bring in a month. Rocky sounds like he needs to grow up and learn what marriage, a partnership and team is all about.

Everyone gave you some wonderful advice. Oh, the putting god before anyone, then himself and the rest of the family is in the bible somewhere. I don't agree with it personally (God, the husband, the wife and then children), I put God and my children first before anyone else. I don't know where it is in the bible so I can't show you, I'm not a bible thumper or church goer. I have also never agreed with giving 10% of all your earnings either, especially when they still expect offering.

The fast food and cable bill is excessive. Does he have more than one job? I couldn't see a delivery driver being paid that much money, if he does would it be feasable for him to stop delivering since it's adding a major amount to the gas bill? I'd work that out and see what gas vs. pay is on that job and see if it's worth staying.

Tiff, it's not your parents responsibility to buy your groceries or even pay your cell phone bill (although, if mine wanted to pay mine, I'd be ok with that, lol). If your husband earns enough dough, then he needs to be buying more of the bread. (pun intended!) That money doesn't belong to just Rocky, it belongs to all of you. I think you are going to have a very hard time getting him to change, I wouldn't put up with his bs and that's exactly what it is.

Good luck to you.
 
Tiff ~ honey, I have a question. I am not attacking you, but I am really just wanting to know...but if you are tithing $211.00 in August then that would put your earnings at $2110.00 right? But you all spend around $3,400.00? Honey if those numbers are right you are in big, big trouble!

Coming from a family that alway did tithe you will not hear a peep from me over that, but there are cheaper cellphone plans. I know with him making deliveries that he will need one for safety reasons, but there are 4 of us on our plan and Caitlyn pays $20.00 a month for unlimited text messaging and our bill is only like $116.00 through Cingular/Att, and we have no competition around here to get better deals.

I know that Florida is HOT in the summer time, but now that it is cooling down some open some windows at night and let the breeze cool the house if it is safe!

And like the others have said the fast food has to stop. I would limit it to the three of you going out to eat once a week at the very most and that would be pushing it! When Jimmie and I were having money problems we used to go out and take the kids out one time a month just to get out of the house as a treat for all of us. It wasn't fun, but it had to be done at the time!

Hope you get some things straightened out! I know how hard it can be ~ we lived it for years!!
 
Well I don't tithe, so I guess that wouldn't show how much money I make.

Anyways I can see we need a total intervention. Its making me sick to see how much we spent over the past months.

May and june we had our tax refund, and the stimul. checks come. We wiped through that like crazy.

For may we spent
$290.00 on fast food
For June We spent
$430.00 on fast food

That is ridiculous. And alot of the info Rocky writes down. I'm realizing most of these outings...where he spent all this money on fast food. Me and kailey weren't with him.
Like one he spent $25 at Dennys with Josh, his friend. (josh is in and out of jail)
I saw alot of activity (spending money) when I was on vacation with kailey. And Rocky had to stay home and work for 3 days.
(Dinner at "Alfies" $32.00) I don't even know what "Alfies" is
(Dennys $4.50 or so +tip)
(Riggys $5.00) I know thats a pool hall... and I know I didn't go there
(Mcdonalds $3)
(pizza $8)
(2 doubleshots on ice $4)
(pool $4)
(Wings $3.74)
(2 Drinks $3.00_
(Dennys $4)

I know for a fact thats all in those 3 days.
The next stuff I dont know...
 
Giving 10% to the church is for those people who have "excess" of income. You don't, and you shouldn't think that God expects you to. It also says in the Bible that if one has excess for reasonable means to live comfortably, they are expected to give to those who don't. That right there explains who is expected to give 10% at church.

Your household spending is insane not to mention irresponsible.

I highly suggest that you and Rocky go in for marriage counselling and also sit down with a financial advisor.

If you don't, things are probably just going to keep getting worse.
 
You ladies make me proud :love:

I didn't want to tell tiff what I think she should do in regards to Rocky and herself because I can be very abrasive and sometimes insensitive to her. tiff is 24 and I was getting ready to have baby #2 at that age. Hubby and I had been supporting ourselves, on our own with little help, for 7 years by then. I feel it's the way it should be when you decide to be a grown up and have babies, so, like I said, I wanted to tread lightly and not hurt her feelings.

But you ladies rocked it :laughing: You politely told her what she needed to hear and I believe she will take it to heart.

tiff, you are stronger than you think. And you do have a say in what goes on financially(and other areas) in your marriage and your family. You contribute too and in more ways than one. I have to commend you for being so brave as to allowing us into your household financially. It takes a lot of courage to do that! You have the proper attitude towards being responsible and growing up. Now, if only you can get Rocky to see that. I think you're right...he's been able to just spend what he wants because he knows your parents aren't going to let you and Kailey do without(and him in regards to the old car and whatnot). With your parents basically cutting you off Rocky's gotta step it up even more now and buckle down on the finances.

After you get the finances situation taken care of, come back and talk to us about this running around thing with his friends all of the time. I think you'll find many opinions on that as well :laughing: Again, good luck!! You can do it!!
 
Well thank you completely.. for your consideration on my feelings.

I agree totally. Before Rocky didn't have to take charge of me and kailey (financially) because my parents did a lot of the time. So he spent his money widly and on other people.
Now that they cut me off...no more money. He's having a really hard time wanting to stop spending money on everyone else, and spend it on our needs.
 
tiffandrock said:
Well I don't tithe, so I guess that wouldn't show how much money I make.

Anyways I can see we need a total intervention. Its making me sick to see how much we spent over the past months.

May and june we had our tax refund, and the stimul. checks come. We wiped through that like crazy.

For may we spent
$290.00 on fast food
For June We spent
$430.00 on fast food

That is ridiculous. And alot of the info Rocky writes down. I'm realizing most of these outings...where he spent all this money on fast food. Me and kailey weren't with him.
Like one he spent $25 at Dennys with Josh, his friend. (josh is in and out of jail)
I saw alot of activity (spending money) when I was on vacation with kailey. And Rocky had to stay home and work for 3 days.
(Dinner at "Alfies" $32.00) I don't even know what "Alfies" is
(Dennys $4.50 or so +tip)
(Riggys $5.00) I know thats a pool hall... and I know I didn't go there
(Mcdonalds $3)
(pizza $8)
(2 doubleshots on ice $4)
(pool $4)
(Wings $3.74)
(2 Drinks $3.00_
(Dennys $4)

I know for a fact thats all in those 3 days.
The next stuff I dont know...
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Sweets, just when I think I have gotten over the shock of all of this, you go and post that :laughing: :laughing:

Oh baby girl!!! I got light-headed reading your fast food expense for June alone!!

OK, I gotta ask and don't get mad. You can tell me to piss off if it's too personal but are you sure he's not into drugs and/or alcohol? You said a lot of activity was going on when you were on vacation and he was home. Are you sure there isn't ANY illicit activity going on? Not just drugs and alcohol but anything, tiff. Or did he spend the majority of his money on food, iced coffee, and give a bunch away to friends? Like I said, please don't get mad. My reasoning behind asking you that is because he's hanging out with that friend who's in and out of jail. I had a girlfriend back in the day who was like that and we weren't sitting around knitting if you know what I mean :laughing:
 
Sweets, just when I think I have gotten over the shock of all of this, you go and post that

Oh baby girl!!! I got light-headed reading your fast food expense for June alone!!

OK, I gotta ask and don't get mad. You can tell me to piss off if it's too personal but are you sure he's not into drugs and/or alcohol? You said a lot of activity was going on when you were on vacation and he was home. Are you sure there isn't ANY illicit activity going on? Not just drugs and alcohol but anything, tiff. Or did he spend the majority of his money on food, iced coffee, and give a bunch away to friends? Like I said, please don't get mad. My reasoning behind asking you that is because he's hanging out with that friend who's in and out of jail. I had a girlfriend back in the day who was like that and we weren't sitting around knitting if you know what I mean

you are the 3rd person to say that!!! The other day Rocky was at work. He was delivery a pizza, got to the door, and told the guy he needed to call 911. Rocky told me he couldn't see out of his one eye. And his arm felt numb, like it wasn't attached to his body. I told my parents that, and they both asked me if I thought he was doing drugs.
Really I don't think he does drugs, because he's got a lot of ocd, and whenever he does something bad, he tells me. Even if I dont want to know.
I'm not mad at your comment. I know that Rocky has mental issues. And i think he is addicted to spending crazily. He can't leave his friends alone, and they walk all over him, and mooch off of him.
I think he totally just doesn't realize how bad this is.
His parents are horrible with money. They are bad in debt, and keep refiancing thier house. His dad gambles a lot.
 
It sounds like Rocky might also might be having problems with depression also. Spending is sometimes a coping mechanism...I did that after Momma and Pam died. Retail therapy ~ I had to stop though because I was getting out of hand and I knew it. I was just lucky that I got 'hooked' on SA as well. Maybe Rocky needs to find a new and cheap hobby with some new friends from the church or somewhere else. If his friends are a bad influence then he needs some new friends to do something with that will support him not mooch off of him!
 
ping1970 said:
It sounds like Rocky might also might be having problems with depression also. Spending is sometimes a coping mechanism...I did that after Momma and Pam died. Retail therapy ~ I had to stop though because I was getting out of hand and I knew it. I was just lucky that I got 'hooked' on SA as well. Maybe Rocky needs to find a new and cheap hobby with some new friends from the church or somewhere else. If his friends are a bad influence then he needs some new friends to do something with that will support him not mooch off of him!
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Very true. I know he has depression. Ocd and depression. He's got low self esteem, etc.
He used to be into drugs, marilyn manson, etc. Really deep depression. Then he got saved (became a christian). His life changed, he stopped doing drugs, stopped listeing to the deep dark music, and stopped doing things that hurt him. Except he never stopped hanging out with those friends. He knows deep down inside that they just use him. But he can't not help them. They sometimes disappear for months, and then all of a sudden call up needing something. When they get out of jail, or whatever. They only call when they need something a ride, some money, a place to stay, etc.
When Rocky needs something, they are no where to be found.
Rocky has two christian friends, they are both married, 1 with kids, and 1 has a baby on the way.
They never want to go out with rocky at night. So he says, "Christians are afraid of the dark".
Because of Rockys job, the only time he can really do stuff is 1am to whatever.
Because Rocky usually sleeps 5am to 3 pm. He sleeps alot
 
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