As some of you may remember, when ping had to have her dog scamp euthanized (sorry ping) I had also just lost one of my cats, Smokey. He had a heart attack at the foot of my bed. Well this last weekend, We had to have my big dog put down because we found out he had cancer. With his old age and the extensiveness of the cancer, the vet said it was the best thing for him. What really bothers me the most is that sometimes he would seem like he was stiff or something and the next thing you knew he was jumping around outside, playing with his ball or one of his other toys. I just really hope that it was the right thing. Maybe he wasn't as bad as the vet said. This has really tore me up wandering. Not only did this happen, I had been really sick for the last several weeks, and then my back went out on me too. It finially got better, I still have some stuff in my chest, and my back went out on me again yesterday. Not only all of this, but the last four years we had a friend die of cancer, my father drown while fishing, three months later my mom died at the hospital unexpectedly, my husband had two uncles and an aunt die, just last week another of his aunts died. About three weeks ago I had an aunt and an uncle die the same week. After my mother died another aunt died two weeks after her. My best friends father died, I was sort of a part of the family to them, another good friends mother died, my favorite doctor died. and this last march another aunt passed away. I knew that eventually this stuff was going to start happening because they are all pretty old, but how much can a person really take. I feel like I'm to my limit and having to put Yikes down was just the last straw. I feel like it is somekind of a jinx or something. How can all of this stuff happen all within such a short time? Every time the phone rings anymore, I wonder what happened now. I know so many people deal with more, but where do they find the strength. Being there and seeing Smokey have a heart attack and not being able to do anything to help him, and wondering if we did the right thing having to have Yikes put down just haunts me especially at night or when I'm trying to sleep I have bad dreams about them. I just keep praying that nothing else happens and I get through this soon. I'm sorry this was so long, but getting it off my chest helps a lot. Thanks for understanding. 
As most people on this board knows, my mind isn't firing right anymore. It is just really sad!
I know one of these days that I am going to have to face losing him, Star, Angel, and Albie ~ but I guess it is worth it in the long run for the love and laughter they are providing me now!